Are you an Introvert? This could be your Advantage!

I always knew I was more of an introvert, but since moving to the city and having to deal with the hustle and bustle of city life, I’ve grown light years in my understanding of what that means and how exactly to live life in a non-stop world. 

It started with simple self-awareness. I noticed how little things would really irritate me. Ok, abnormally irritate me. For example, weekly family dinner, which required coordinating on Sunday and Monday felt like a chore and the planning involved felt excruciatingly annoying.  

Then there was the fact that I rarely wanted to see friends or do anything social after a day at the office.

There was also the fact that I loved being at the office when no one was there.

And the fact that if anyone else is in the house with me, I don't feel like I can be alone and I cannot fully rest. I savour in the times when I can have the house to myself, with a zero disturbances, zero clanging of dishes or shutting doors, so that I can be 100% alone.  On top of all this I revel in the times when I can be in the nature, like when I went solo camping, so I can be 200% alone.

I think you get the idea.

What’s interesting is that my introversion tendencies were never this obvious to me until I started working consistently in the city. All of the people that I had to be around at the office and in traffic and at the grocery — even people at the gym — were affecting my energy.

I’ve survived through the first year by spending a lot of time at home and getting as much solo time as possible. But then I decided that I wanted to create content again for my social media and YouTube channel. Suddenly, every ounce of my precious energy and mental focus mattered. I become extremely aware of where I was spending energy when I didn’t have to and what gave me energy.

Thankfully, I found a book called The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World by Marti Olsen Laney at a Goodwill store and I picked it up for $1. As I devoured the book at home, I felt hundreds of synapses in my brain waking up.  This book felt like a gift from God telling me who I am and how I'm different, how there are advantages to the way I'm made and how to navigate my current life!

Let's talk about what exactly makes introverts different. 

How Introverts Are Unique

 A few blogs ago, I shared my Myers-Briggs personality test results, which showed that I am an INFP-A who is 74% introvert. (Just FYI, it is very rare for a person to be 100% an introvert or extrovert. Most of us have a mix of both, and this is healthy. This knowledge also takes the judgment out of extroversion or introversion being better. Both qualities have gifts, or better said, we receive gifts from using both sides of our personalities.) 

Here are some key characteristics of those who lean more into your introversion. See if you identify with these statements: 

1. I dislike small talk and prefer to go deep. 

2. Too much small talk drains me. 

3. Whenever I spend time with people, I need to decompress after. 

4. Spending time myself is how I refuel my resources. 

5. Loud noises and constant interruptions deeply annoy me. 

6. I feel like I do my best work when I’m in my head and working in solitude. 

7. I prefer not to listen to music while I work. 

8. I enjoy diving into a good book just as much as a deep conversation, sometimes even more! 

9. I prefer few, intimate friendships and relationships over having many friends. 
   
   

Understanding The Introvert Nature

“The second difference between the introvert and the extrovert is how they experience external stimulation. Extroverts like to experience a lot, and introverts like to know a lot about what they experience.”

― Marti Olsen Laney, The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World

“For introverts who have a high level of internal activity, anything coming from the outside raises their intensity level index quickly. It’s kind of like being tickled—the sensation goes from feeling good and fun to “too much” and uncomfortable in a split second.”

― Marti Olsen Laney

“Introverts, in contrast, may have strong social skills and enjoy parties and business meetings, but after a while wish they were home in their pajamas. They prefer to devote their social energies to close friends, colleagues, and family. They listen more than they talk, think before they speak, and often feel as if they express themselves better in writing than in conversation. They tend to dislike conflict. Many have a horror of small talk, but enjoy deep discussions.”

― Susan Cain, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

These quotes make me laugh a bit inside, because I am so all of these qualities. Whenever I tell friends that I’m an introvert, they are usually surprised. It’s because when I am making friend connections, I’m extroverting. I’m flexing my extrovert muscles. No one sees me when I’m introverting.

The most distinguishable trait of all? 

I recover my energy by being alone, not by being with other people. 

People who are primarily extroverts get their energy from other people. People who are primarily introverts need to be alone to resource their energy. 

As I read this book, The Introvert Advantage, I knew that I have to talk and write about this topic. I remember reading the book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain when I was in university. (I will probably read it again one of these days.) It gave me a deep sense of confidence, like there is something unique about me and I don’t have to change who I am. 

Your Introversion Matters

We live in a world where success and achievement are all public affairs.  I believe that there are people who are introverts, who discount themselves from excelling because they've never realize that they are just wired differently. In fact, Susan Cain writes about how many of the greatest discoveries and inventions of our time were made by introverts because introverts are more likely to persevere through a problem when others give up.

As I was running into all of these issues with the extraversion energy in my life, I started to get the intuitive hunch that my introversion could be my advantage. Rather than trying to fight the system that was full of noise, chaos, and crammed stores, what if I used my natural tendency to want to stay away from people to my advantage? 

What if I have mental capacities that I haven’t tapped into yet, because I haven't gotten a chance to sit down and simmer deeply in that my thoughts?

 This blog and the dozens of blogs I've published in the last few months proof that you can use your introversion to your advantage.

Let’s talk about how to use your introvert qualities to your advantage and some strategies for how to navigate a loud, chaotic world. I’ve got a few more pieces about how to thrive as an introvert coming up!