Body Image, Job Titles and Money: Things I’m Surrendering As I Prepare to Leave My 20s

This weekend I entered my 29th year alive on planet earth. (I enjoy using different language around birthdays, instead of saying that I’m X years “old.”)

The weeks leading up to my birthday are a time for me to reflect and step into the new season of my life as consciously as possible.  This year, I am settling into the truth that I am closing in on the decade of my twenties and moving into my thirties. I am no longer in the phase of “making the most of my 20’s”. Now I’m preparing for what it means to be in my 30’s. (Interestingly, I haven’t read any books about this transition into womanhood yet, so these are just my gut feelings.) 

Rather than hang onto my twenties like I’m trying to be forever 21, I’m choosing to spend this next year, my 29th year alive on earth celebrating my life thus far and preparing my heart for the decades ahead. 

6 Things From I’m Letting Go Of From My 20s

1. I let go of fussing about my weight or body image. Too much energy and mental space have been used up over the last decade being upset about my body. It started when I was twelve and now, at 29, I’m ready to let all of the fussing, nipping and obsessing.  By most standards, I am very healthy. I accept now that my body “shape” will take care of itself as I take care of the body that so miraculously houses my soul. I let go of judging my body and my weight. I choose to love and accept my body now. I’m so grateful for my body temple, my partner in this life. I will no longer let the media or my mind convince me of otherwise. 

2. I let go of fussing about job labels. I am not the sum of my resume, my career progression or my job titles. I am much, much more. For so long, I’ve tried to find the perfect label for myself, dancing between calling myself an entrepreneur, then an artist and many things in between.  I am not an employee or a content creator. I am a child of God. I am a beloved human being, soul and spirit with a divine calling. I choose to trust that God is leading me to a bigger vision. I choose to trust that all of my experiences, job- and non-job related are adding up to a larger life purpose that is still unfolding. 

3. I let go of fussing about money. I let go of acting and thinking in lack. The truth is that all money and everything I have in my life is a gift from God, given to me to serve a greater purpose. It is not “my money”. I let go of “my money” and I have given the ownership for all of it back to God.  I am simply God’s steward. I allocate, distribute, share and invite the resources I’m given according to God’s guidance and direction. 

4. I let go of my resistance to Christianity. For many years, I rejected this part of my identity. I agonized over the fact that my parents are Christian pastors and that I would never be able to get away from this religion. Now, my understanding of faith, God, spirituality, Christ and the human journey have led me to a place of acceptance and embracing. I accept that this is an element of my life, specifically put into place because it is part of the role I’m here to play. I let God guide me to where I can make the greatest impact. If playing my part in the healing of the world includes Christianity in some way, I am open to it. 

5. I let go of my resistance to the city. I embrace it and trust that there are good things here. I surrender my complaints, and I welcome a new perspective about life here and all that happens in this place 6.4 million people. 

6. I let go of identifying with the “girl” in me. I am letting myself grow beyond being a “girl”. Of course, I will always have the innocent, free-spirited girl inside me, but my soul is calling me to step into womanhood. What does it mean to be a woman? How does a woman carry herself differently in the world? These are the questions I’ve been pondering for the last few weeks. For me involves a new level of responsibility and respect for how I live my life. My actions over the next decade can make a real difference in the world. A woman carries herself with confidence, dignity, and assurance in God. 

I came up with this list several weeks ago, and it feels really good to revisit it and remind myself of what I will no longer carry. Sometimes I catch myself fussing about one of the items listed above and I tell myself, wait, I put that burden down already.

There is something very nurturing and nourishing about letting myself change. It feels good to put my defenses and my weapons down and let myself transform me into who I need to be to complete my work (and my joy) on earth.