Living For The Long Haul
It is been a lifetime and a half since I wrote here. So much has happened, I don't know what to start, so I'm just going to .... start. 🙂
In the outside world, our external lives, there are always changes, but the biggest shift in me has happened internally.
I'm in a season where work is in full swing. My younger self would have been happy to surf all the waves, but these days I'm contemplating what it means to live, work and rest for the long haul.
I'm working on projects that are all projects much slower than I'm used to. As a solopreneur, I used to dream up projects -- courses, campaigns, collaborations -- in days and execute them within a matter of weeks. I loved the process of taking an idea from concept to reality within weeks and I prided myself in making this happen fast.
Since I came back to Toronto in 2017 and started working with companies, I've been learning what it means to let things happen slowly.
Now, I'm stretching my timelines even more.
Instead of dreaming in 6 months at a time, I'm imagining what might happen in 6 years’ time. Well, 'imagining' is probably the wrong word, because I've never even worked on something for 6 years! I'm guessing, feeling into the unknown that could unfold over the 6 years.
I typically like to finish things within a couple of months, but I'm learning now. Life is long. There will always be work.
Here are a few thoughts on living for the long haul, not the short-haul.
Life is always progressing. One of my greatest fears about living the city work life was that I would be stagnant. I would be doing the same thing all the time, and I wouldn't be able to grow at the rate I could when traveling. However, even before the pandemic, God started to show me how He can move the pieces of my life without me doing anything. It's like I can stay on the raft and the river will flow forward. Sometimes it's a wild rush, and sometimes it's a slow trickle. Either way, life has its own forward momentum.
Patience is a virtue. In western work culture, we are wired to look ahead. As a natural forward thinker, I get a burst of energy whenever I dream of the future. However, now I can also see the downside of that way of living and thinking. Trying to always get somewhere is exhausting and eventually, pointless. When I get too caught up in making things happen, I start to believe it's all on me. But it's not, God's been keeping the world running for ages and it's okay for me rest.
I need seasons and rhythms. I'm still working on this one. I'm feeling the need for a deep soul and mind reset... and when I think about why I didn't take more breaks in the last year, I remember: right. The pandemic. Now that things are starting to get back to "normal," I have more headspace to dream about is the ideal annual work rhythm for me. God knows that I don't do well on a monotonous work schedule, working the same hours, 52 weeks a year. (I don't think anyone can really thrive like that, but that's another conversation!)
Finally, a milestone: I finished my third year of my Masters of Divinity! Just two more semesters and four courses left. This program has taught me I really have no idea how much I can grow! If this is how much I've changed in 3 years... I can't even imagine what might happen to me in 10!
Love & Grace,
Anita
