I Will Not Hit The Ground Running

A new year is upon us. 365 days totally for free.

We do not have to pay Someone Up There, offer up our lives, our children, our fortunes to catch the rising sun for the next 365 days.

I never want to lose the sense that days are free. I never want to forget that everyday I wake up is a gift from something bigger than me.

It is not a marvel that we are still walking this earth? Why does the sun keep rising and setting? Why do trees keep breathing? Why do rivers keep running and rain keep pouring?

Why am I still here? And what does it mean for me to be alive?

Not too long ago, I found myself saying "it was a crazy morning" when I checked in for our phone call at 10am.

The moment the words came out of my mouth, I knew I never wanted to utter those words again.

It's become normal for us to be busy. It's a badge of honour, even, to say that we're busy. There are so many people vying for my attention! So many important projects that I'm a part of! Look at me go powered by caffeine!

I will not play that game anymore.

I will not hit the ground running.

Firstly, I do not want to hit the ground. I especially do not want to hit the ground running. What is with all the running? What good is it, if it just means that I will arrive at December 31, 2022 exhausted, out of breath and depleted? Before I know it, three years could pass and I would still be hitting the ground and running. Ow. My body can't do that and neither can my mind.

That is not the life I want, nor the way in which I want to live. I would like to land on the ground. I would like to walk the earth. I would like to slow down long enough to notice pink streaks in the sky when the sunsets on another day of free life.

Whereas I once prided myself in being someone who could work at lightning speed, I now see the downfall of the unchecked pursuit of speed.

Turning 30 changed how I see time. No longer do I just look at one year. I'm looking at a whole decade ahead of me. Not 12 months in 2022, but the 120 months between now and when my forties comes along.

I already know the next 12 months is not enough time for me to be, do and accomplish everything I want. But it is enough time to grow.