How I Almost Missed the Point of My Sabbatical (Until Now)"
I Never Really Downshifted
I’m realizing now that I never truly downshifted from “work” mode when my sabbatical began.
In January, before the sabbatical started, I was wrapping up a major project in Niagara while simultaneously planning several months of travel—all within a few short weeks. By February, I found myself in Colombia. It’s no wonder I couldn’t fully enjoy it—my mind and spirit were still overloaded, brimming with unfinished tasks and responsibilities. Physically, I was in a different country, but mentally, I hadn’t arrived yet.
It wasn’t until I was trekking in the Himalayas, with someone else handling the logistics, that I finally began to catch my breath.
A Gradual Slowdown
In Bali, with some unstructured days that allowed me to do absolutely nothing, I finally started to slow down. I knew my MBA would be around the corner but part of me resisted diving too deeply into anything related to the program. Deep down, I knew that once I engaged with it, I would be pulled back into “work” mode.
Still, I couldn’t avoid it forever. Once I arrived in Kenya, I had other work to do, shooting photos and videos for H2O4all.
But honestly, I wasn’t inspired as I wanted to be. I was exhausted and while I got the job done, it left me feeling even more depleted, like I was running on empty.
When T and I finally arrived in Italy, we had some downtime, but the travel itself—hopping on and off trains—left me drained.
And then… I made the mistake of looking into consulting roles and case interviews. From that moment, it was game over.
The Pressure of Case Interviews
From that point forward, I threw myself into case interview preparation with all the pressure and energy I could muster. But I was already exhausted. The prospect of a salary close to $200K was hard to ignore. I convinced myself this was my big opportunity—a chance to redeem myself after years of earning so little in my twenties.
June was spent in the library, stressing over case prep. It never even occurred to me that perhaps what my soul really needed was two weeks off to do absolutely nothing.
In addition to the prep, I attended several networking events—events my MBA tuition had covered, where I could meet alumni and potentially secure my next job. I ended up going to five or six networking events over three weeks, and on the days I wasn’t networking, I was back to studying for case interviews.
In hindsight, my sabbatical had quietly ended. I was in full MBA mode, trying to make the most of the opportunity. I even bought a sleek white iPhone case before my trip—a subtle way to shift into “MBA mode” and blend in.
Struggling to Keep Up
Before I knew it, I was moving to London for my MBA program. July and August were spent cramming knowledge into my brain and trying to switch into school mode. But something didn’t feel right.
The atmosphere in the MBA program was tense. Everyone was stressed about landing a job. The pressure from those June career events weighed heavily on us all, and many of my peers were constantly scrolling through job boards, trying to secure their future.
I had classes every morning, Monday to Friday, from 8 a.m. to 1 p.m., with daily prep work. It wasn’t much different from the schedule I had in undergrad, but it felt so much heavier this time around.
I started blaming the program and then myself. I felt inadequate for not being able to keep up with the finance concepts as quickly as my classmates who had worked in the industry for years. I grew frustrated that the program wasn’t delivering the “refresher” I had expected.
Considering Dropping Out
At one point, I seriously considered dropping out. I wasn’t enjoying the program, and I didn’t feel like I was learning what I had hoped to. On top of that, the stress was unbearable. I kept thinking, “If I wanted to be stressed while job hunting, I could have done this while working!” At least then, I would have been earning money instead of paying for the privilege of feeling this way.
In the one-week break between August and September, I borrowed several books from the library on rest, sabbaticals, burnout, and work. As I read and reflected on the months ahead, a realization hit me: I’m allowed to reclaim my sabbatical. I can still honor this time as a period of rest, just as I had intended when I spent years saving up for it.
Rethinking My Sabbatical
There were two key insights from A Dummies Guide to Taking a Career Break that I hadn’t previously considered:
Assigning a re-entry period—a dedicated time for applying to jobs, networking, and consciously reflecting on your next career move. I had never done this. When the MBA opportunity came up before my sabbatical, I assumed it would naturally facilitate my transition back into work. And in some ways, it has. But I don’t need, nor do I want, to spend the next seven months stressing about job hunting. McGhee suggests reserving a few weeks at the end of your sabbatical for re-entry, and this idea resonated with me. I’m now considering what it would look like to shift back into sabbatical mode for the next few months, leaving job-related activities for January through March, when I’ll be finishing my MBA.
Leaving “white space” in your schedule—unstructured time to process emotions, thoughts, and breakthroughs. This insight hit home for me because it’s exactly what I’ve been craving! The longer I go without writing or reflecting, the more unsettled I feel. I need time to put into words all that I’ve been experiencing.
Embracing My Own Path
It’s become clear: I don’t have to approach my MBA the same way everyone else is. My sabbatical is still a priority. I entered this program with different goals from many of my peers, and that’s perfectly fine. There’s no “right” or “wrong” way to do this.
This weekend, I swapped out my sleek white iPhone case for the rugged blue case I used during my trek in the Himalayas. It felt like a symbolic gesture—a way of shifting back into sabbatical mode. While I don’t plan on embarking on any grand adventures in the coming months, I’m preparing for the adventure of diving deeper into rest and discovering what that means for me.
Already, I can feel the pressure lifting.
What My Soul Craves
What I truly crave is two solid weeks of doing absolutely nothing, a chance to fully unwind and decompress from all that has happened. But, unfortunately, that’s not possible at the moment, as I have classes to attend in the coming weeks.
Still, I’m much more aware of what I need now—what my soul craves. This is a season where I want to listen carefully to my inner voice, to discern what my soul and Spirit are trying to tell me about the next chapter of my life. I want to learn how to live more wisely in the years ahead.
Trusting in Something Greater
This week, a sermon by Steven Furtick reminded me that where I end up next in my career isn’t just about me. It’s not just about how far I can climb or what I personally want. This next step is part of a bigger plan—one where God is moving me to bring His light, grace, and healing to different corners of the world. He’s arranging things not just for my benefit, but for others through me.
This realization has taken a huge weight off my shoulders. It’s not all about me! It’s not about my career trajectory or how far I can advance. God knows what I’m capable of, far better than I do or any potential employer. As I surrender to His guidance, I trust He will lead me where I need to go.
Moving Forward with Trust
As I sit here writing on this Monday morning, I don’t yet know how the rest I need will come to me. I still have classes to complete this week, along with a few other loose ends to tie up. But I trust that something greater is in store for me, and in time, it will be revealed.
For now, I’m focusing on trusting in His leading—that growing sense of peace and lightness returning to my soul.
I’ll keep you updated on how it all unfolds!
