A Return to Content Creation? Navigating My MBA Journey and the Creative Call
Enjoying a coffee from Catania, Sicily, Italy during my sabbatical travels earlier this year. 2024.
When I first registered for my MBA at Ivey Business School, I thought it would take up all my time. After all, it's called a full-time program, and the school explicitly expects that if you're doing this program, you are not working. I didn't plan to do anything other than this MBA during the nine months of the program. However, within two weeks of starting, I began to feel restless.
The Early Restlessness
For the first two months of my MBA, we have what is called the “core refresher,” which revisits all the courses I took in my undergraduate business program. Classes run from 8 AM to 1 PM every day, with three class sessions happening in that time block. At first, I was looking forward to it, but within two weeks, I began to feel restless. I felt like I wasn't learning as much as I wanted to. Sometimes, it seemed like the classes assumed prior knowledge or jumped right into a topic without any on-ramp.
For example, some finance topics I learned in my undergraduate program, like how to do a discounted cash flow and calculate the weighted average cost of capital, were reintroduced. The problem is, I completed my undergraduate degree ten years ago, and I don't remember any of that. Part of the point of doing an MBA was to come back and relearn these topics, like finance fundamentals. Instead of relearning these fundamentals, I felt like we were just thrown into the deep end, with no on-ramp time, which was frustrating.
Because I have also spent three years doing another master’s degree, I got used to watching lectures at 2x speed and learning concepts quickly. Sitting in classes for five hours a day left me feeling like I hardly learned anything compared to how fast I could absorb online content.
A Disappointing Realization
This was a disappointing realization because I was investing a lot of money and time into this MBA, and it already didn't feel worth it. By early August, I even considered dropping out. I thought to myself that perhaps I could get a partial refund and would get seven months of my life back. However, the people closest to me all suggested that I should finish. They said, "You have no idea what an MBA is or what doors it will open for you afterward. Finish it.”
So, I decided to finish the MBA, but I wondered what I would do with all this time. I had expected to have no free time during my MBA—just school and managing my life.
Yet, I find myself now with some free time.
The Call to Create
Over the last three or four weeks, I started to get a hunch. I began to hear a whisper inviting me to consider creating content again. I never expected to hear this voice again. In fact, a couple of months ago, when we were clearing out the garage, I insisted on throwing out my YouTube lights because I thought I would never use them again. I had hardly used them in the last two years and didn't want them around. Others told me to keep the lights, but I threw them out.
Now, here I was, considering making YouTube videos. I thought to myself, "What? Oh, come on, Anita. I thought I was done with this. Are you a YouTuber or not? Do you want to do content creation or not?"
I came to do an MBA partly because I was done being a content creator. Nonetheless, I couldn't deny this voice that was gently prodding me, asking, "What do you think about making content at this time?" I also couldn't ignore the part of me that felt excited about creating content.
I began journaling and asking myself what content I would actually create and how much free time I had. As I listened to the answers that welled up within me and jotted them down, I thought concretely about how much time I actually had, how much time my coursework would take, and what I wanted to create with this time.
I started to realize that I genuinely wanted to create content.
Reflecting on the Desire to Create
Spoiler alert: I do want to create content again, but I approach it differently this time.
I am not expecting this to turn into a career catalyst. I want to make this content without any expectations. It doesn't need to launch a new career for me or make me money. If this content leads to some of those things, that would be amazing, but I don't want to do it for that reason.
I want to create because I know it is one of the most meaningful, beautiful, and fulfilling uses of my time. If some of those other benefits happen, there is nothing wrong with that.
Starting to create content is not a small decision for me. It's not just a casual attempt; I've been there and done that three or four times at this point. Making YouTube videos is a huge time commitment. I don’t need a hobby. I don’t need more work. I want a purpose.
This time, I hope to approach it with a clear heart and mind, to have fun, and hopefully create some useful resources. I’ve had these thoughts about creating content floating around in my head for several weeks, and I needed to finally make a decision. Here’s a look at how I made this decision:
Steps I Took to Make This Decision:
First, I free-write as many questions as I can that serve as criteria for deciding.**
Then I answer each question as honestly as possible.**
Then I consider all of my options for how I could use my time.**
Finally, I benchmark or rate each option against each question from Step 2 on a scale of 0-10. 10 means I am fully aligned, green light. 0 means, totally not aligned, don’t bother.
So, Should I Make Content Again or Not?
Here is my criteria.
1. Is this a waste of time? I’ve done it before. How do I know this will be different?
This time needs to be different. I’m not getting back into writing or making a couple of YouTube videos because I need it to make money for me. I want to make sure I do it for the right reasons, or else I will be disappointed that I did waste my time. I sense that God will be opening the door to the right job, at just the right time along this way.
2. Will I be disappointed that I just “wasted” a bunch of time? Or will my soul be glad that I made these resources exist?
I have one project idea that I sense that my soul will be very glad about. Even if I never made a dime out of this, I would be glad that I took the time to make a little repository of my sabbatical. I would be glad that it would exist and be there for others to have a fruitful time with a sabbatical.
3. Which option feels a bit more like obedience?**
If I’m honest, ignoring this feeling in my bones to create doesn’t feel like the way. I believe that the sense to create is from God.
4. Will it draw me nearer to God?
All of the options could draw me away from God, or closer to Him. It all depends on the position of my heart. If I make sure to do it all with a sense of centeredness and groundedness, then yes, I do believe that it could draw me nearer to God. I would need God’s help to figure out all things, like how exactly to publish all this stuff once it is created.
It requires more courage to move ahead with writing, but especially the YouTube videos. Youtube required hundreds of hours. The output is unknown, whether in views, job prospects, or ad revenue from YouTube. But if God makes me feel that it could be a form of worship and prayer, then, I believe it will draw me nearer to God.
5. Which option requires more courage and faith?
Making content definitely requires the most courage and faith. Because it means that I’m not constantly looking for a job. I could pour hours and hours over the next 7 months into trying to land the perfect job, under some assumption that I could actually know what it is and locate it myself. But as I’ve walked the last three months of this MBA, it’s clear that I don’t know the absolutely perfect job for me, for the next chapter of my life. I have several good contenders, but all of them have downsides that I do not want to be responsible for imposing those downsides onto myself. Is it not better to just let God decide for me? So while it does require more courage and faith to not be constantly job seeking, it also requires just as much courage to be job seeking.
6. The true purpose of my life?
I have a sense of what I might be a part of in this world: a new generation of creators, who are creating a new world order and culture. The blueprint for my soul to follow, to play my part, includes a manuscript from a celestial being called God. God has written a message for me, to help me and guide me along this path, and that set of instructions is called “faith.” So as long as I follow that set of instructions and allow it to unfold spiritual growth for me, I will be able to do my part in the grand awakening and unfolding. As long as I am leaning into God, and always listening for the right directions, I cannot fail. God will always come through and make sure that I am able to help.
7. Will This Project Contribute to the Flourishing of Humankind?
Yes, it will contribute to the flourishing of all mankind. That’s one of the key reasons I want to do this.
8. Have Signs Been Pointing Me in A Specific Direction?
From the moment I saw the studio apartment I would rent, it felt “YouTube-worthy.” I could YouTube there. Now, in the last few weeks, since late July, the idea of creating content with my extra time in my MBA has not gone away. It has only gathered steam. I have found more and more tools that can help me, such as Notion to track my writing.
9. . If I Had All the Time and Money in the World, What Would I Do With This Time?
My previous selves would have wanted to travel, and there were times in my life where that is exactly what I did. But this time around, I feel strongly that I want to stay put and write and write and write my heart out. To get all of the content and thoughts and reflections out of my heart, mind, and soul and let them out into the world. This will require time, many, many hours, and it feels like the best use of hours I can think of!
10. What Is My Ultimate Goal?
To draw nearer to God. To let go of my former self and be brought ever closer and closer to God. To be released of my old self and to let the new Anita that is being birthed come forth. I don’t know if it's CEO Anita or consultant Anita or another writer Anita, but I do know there is a new version of me that wants to be birthed forth, and this is from God.
What Are All the Other Things That I Could Be Devoting My Time To? And How Do They Compare?
Getting really fit, going to yoga, getting more healthy.
Seeing friends
Networking for jobs
Organizing my life and stuff
Writing - get into the 5 am writing again, and publish stuff
Make a few YouTube videos, Vlogs?
Make bigger batches of YouTube videos?
Pick up a hobby?
Prioritizing My Time
If I put those things in order of priority, from most to least fulfilling and meaningful, here’s how it would work:
Write a Sabbatical Book
Film and publish a few accompanying videos about the topic. Put it all together on my website.
Take exquisite care of my body and health. Learn how to properly eat and sustain good mental balance.
Network & apply for jobs. Explore interesting leading companies to work for. I can get more into this in 2025.
Make a few more YouTube videos on topics that interest me like AI and strategy.
See friends and family.
Organize my life, clearing stuff up & out (c an do this more in 2025).
Vlog occasionally, maybe? Maybe not?
Conclusion: The Decision Is Made
In the process of putting this all together, I have figured out that, yes, I do want to do create content in some of my free time.
I can do this. I believe it’s a sign from God that I even have the time to do this. And this time will be different.
I hope something good comes from this!
I trust, at the very least, I will have a greater sense of joy, purpose, and direction through my MBA.
Stay tuned! :)
Infinite Love,
Anita
