What Living With Faith Means To Me

I work at a church.

I don’t mention this often. You might have heard me talk working with two companies, one is a non-profit and the other, digital media company. The non-profit is a church. I call it a non-profit most of the time because saying that I work at a church can cause people to put their backs up against a wall. (At least I would have shut down and stopped listening a few years ago.)

The truth is that I’m still sorting out my “faith”. I definitely have faith. It's just that my faith and the way it makes sense in my life, my heart my soul, my mind is not the same as mainstream Christianity. Aka., just because I work at a church doesn’t mean I believe everything the church touts. Churches do not have best reputation, depending on who you talk to, so I prefer to create space between what I believe, my personal faith journey, and the institution of the church.

Some Stuff Maybe I Shouldn’t Say:

In fact, I'm not even sure if I'd call myself a Christian. That might be a label that others want to put on me, but I don't particularly care if I fit into the Christian community, specifically the North American Christianity.

Ok. Let’s go back to faith.

We all have faith in something whether we think about we do or not. Some people put all their faith in their jobs. They rely on their jobs for their sense of identity, security and hope for the future. This seems to be the default in North America. Feeling alone, lost and need salvation? Find a new, higher-paying job. Other options include putting your faith in being a wife, a spouse, a mother, a good daughter, a good friend, a vegan.

We put our faith in these roles and rules because we need to believe that our lives matter. Without a sense of purpose we fall into depression or hopelessness, so this faith is a good thing. Faith is hope and to hope is to be a human.

What living with faith means to me. Here goes:

living with faith means that I believe in something bigger than me.

I believe that there is a loving, kind, good, all-knowing intelligence that oversees every minute facet of my existence and the world I live in. To get a sense of what it might feel like to be “God”, I occasionally attempt to imagine what every single person — all seven billion of us on Earth — is doing right now. Now try to compute rearranging all events and circumstances for all 7 billion people in such a way that humanity evolved to higher consciousness. Yep, impossible. I can barely remember what I are for dinner on Friday.

We could say that the 7 billion circumstances are random, but we all get those moments that leave us dumbfounded: This is not a coincidence. This is happening for a reason.

living with faith means that my life is not my own.

My life exists for a higher purpose.

I understand, I know but I am a soul encapsulated in a human body, timed to be alive for 28 years as of this year, placed in Canada and endowed with certain skills, passions and gifts for a particular reason. My life was brought forth to fulfill a purpose that only I can fulfill in this life. I sense this pull of destiny. I know that it is a potential outcome for me. I understand that I have a choice. I can shut it off and turn the volume dial of the voice of Destiny down or I can turn the volume down a lot. I have chosen to turn the volume dial-up. I have faith in this destiny, this higher purpose for my life.

living with faith means that I choose to follow a path even when I don't know where it leads.

Tight now the path has led me to work at a church. This means my spirituality is intertwined with the Christian faith. I do not choose this. Life, or we could call it God, chose it for me.

When I was born, my dad had already chosen to be a pastor. When I was 12, my mom became a children's pastor as well. I don't know many people for whom both of their parents are pastors. My parents are distinct pastors, serving in two different churches. (When you hear people say that they are a pastor's kid, they usually mean that their dad is a pastor and their mom is a pastor’s wife.) In my case, the Christian faith is staring me in the face, as if God chose this assignment for me and ingrained it in my human life in such a way that I cannot ignore it.

At one point, I was annoyed that I have to deal with Christianity. I’d ask God, Why can’t I just be free to explore spirituality and faith like other people?! Now I’ve come to accept it. It’s an assignment, and not a bad one, since there are billions of people who identify as Christians or countless more who have some notion of the Jesus, God, angels, and heaven. Let’s see where this leads.

Challenge: accepted. Mission: in progress.

I don’t know the details of the final destination, but faith gives me the clarity to walk forward. I prefer to follow the spark. It’s led me into a role working at a church, and completing a masters of divinity, neither of which our choices I would make on my own. They are choices that stemmed from my meta-choice to live with faith.

living with faith means I make decisions out of calling, not fear.

Where do I feel called? What do I feel called to do? The answers to these questions are exactly how I live my life. Tt's the reason I started blogging and writing voraciously. It's the reason I put myself on a disciplined creative timeline to make videos. I'm highly intuitive, so I don't need logic or explanations for everything. I enjoy when I can arrive at logical conclusions, but I trust my instinct already.

Anytime I’m tempted to make a decision to protect my security, I know it’s the wrong one. I trust that God is for me and with me, so I always ask, “God, what would have me do here? What would I do if I fulled trusted that God will provide?”

Living with faith means I believe in miracles.

And, I believe in miracles ALL of the time. I choose to see that my entire life is a miracle. My life is full of miracle moments. I expect miracles. I expect God to work miraculously in my life. I’ve seen God do it before and I know that’s God’s normal MOD. God prefers to surprise us with miracles!

There is a modern translation of the Bible it says this,

“Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions.”

Choosing faith means I get to be brave. I can walk fearlessly into the unknown because I am emboldened by the history of my life.

Without faith, I would shrink back. I would become obsessed with protecting myself, hoarding money, finagling my life circumstances to make things work out for me.

Faith makes my life expansive. Like a potted plant, faith is me putting myself on the deck because I believe the sun will come out. I believe I can grow higher, stronger and taller. With faith, I am free to live generously, to take chances, move mountains and believe in the impossible.

This is why I choose to live with faith.