I got a house! The Start of a Home Base

A mere 10 days into my 30th year on earth, and I have been given a home. Two and a half years after I arrived in Toronto, I have been given a home. 

I say that I have been given a home, but this was not an act of my doing. In fact, left to my own devices, I probably would have started seeking a makeshift home in another country. 

I used to be against mortgages. My heart broke at the idea of people, especially young people, putting hundreds of thousands of dollars to purchase a space the size of a large closet (aka. a condominium) in order to live in the city. It felt lift like selling the soul.

Over the past few months, however, I’ve noticed life and God gently nudging me to a different understanding. A house is a tool with a purpose. For me, this marks a new chapter of my creative journey.

The Wisdom and the Gift of the house: 

This is the sunrise from the suburbs where I currently live.

1. A Space to Process

When I went to Jamaica early this year, I had the acute realization that having a grounding space to return to after a big film project would be ideal. There must be a reason that so many artists talk about having a “home base.” I have never been one to desire a permanent home. I’m missing that gene, apparently. I enjoy moving around, living in new and interesting places, but I can certainly see the benefit of having one place where everything “works”. I don’t have to worry about how I’ll get food, wifi or electricity. After Jamaica, I needed the time and space to edit through hours of footage and to write about my experience. I realized that this emotional and spiritual space was essential to my wellbeing. If I didn’t do it, I felt like a part of my limbs were chopped off. I felt stunted and exhausted and it took me a longer to recuperate my energy. 

2. A Space to Decompress

I have the sense that my life will contain many more adventures: completing film and writing assignments in extreme settings, becoming more of a journalist and storyteller and going places that might deter others. Assignments like these can be an emotional hurricane. They destroy infrastructure and require a time of rebuilding. You can’t just go back to life the way it was. They require a period of integration and this is what this house will provide.

As fate and God have helped me on this one, giving me a house that is on the very outskirts of the city in a small town. The town only has one business area, with one of each store I could possibly need.  It is the perfect size for me. (I’d be happy with even less commerce, but I also understand it’s benefits.) This place will be my refuelling station in between assignments and space for me to gather ideas, incubate and dive deep with much fewer distractions. The house is located very close to forests, next to the open countryside on the top of a hill. The energy there is calm, restful, clear and nurturing - just what I need. 

3. Accepting Where I Am

For so much of my twenties, I looked for a “better” place to live. I felt that my life in Canada was mundane, filled with robots that mindlessly consumed. I know that sounds rather judgemental, but at the core, I was heartbroken. I was heartbroken after seeing my friends work in conventional well-paying summer jobs and return to school...lifeless. I was afraid that the city would crush me, like it seemed to do to other people my age. I sensed that staying in the city would force me into something and someone my soul did not wait to be.

Moving back to Toronto 2.5 years ago, I knew that I would have to accept where I am. I would have to work with the hand of cards I’ve been dealt, which, by many accounts, is a very good hand. I am Canadian by birth. I have a very solid education. Why can’t I be happy? Through a long, slow, often painful process of looking at myself and talking to God, I am embracing the life I have been given - the life that is right in front of me. This house is a manifestation, one culmination,  of me allowing myself to embrace life in the Toronto area. 

4. This is God’s house

This is not my house. This is God’s house. It was bought and purchased with money that is from God and for God’s purposes. I have been given a space to continue living out my life purpose. If God gave me a house in Chile, Australia or Italy, I’d take it. So, why would I resist this house? It is a step forward in my life. I recognize that it is not forever. I’d love to live on a large property one day, surrounded by nature and space, but today, this is what I’ve been given. I am immensely grateful for it and I trust that it is going to be good for my soul and my work. Yes, there will be work involved, but I recognize that this is my next grand adventure with God. 

I will share more of my journey building a home base in the next few months. I’m really looking forward to this process and all that it will open up for us!