My Mdiv Milestones: Two Years of Academic Papers
In 5 weeks, I will be officially done two years of my masters of divinity program at Tyndale Seminary in Toronto.
I started this program extremely begrudgingly. I doubt you could find a students at the seminary who was enrolled but as resistant as I was.
Yet over the last two years, as I’ve slowly surrendered my desires, followed that intuition that I am supposed to be doing this, and opened my heart to God, I have changed.
Most of the blogs that I’ve written over the last two years have circled around this topic of God and the Christian faith, even when I didn’t use those words. Either I was fighting to keep it out, or fighting to let it in. It was an internal struggle that took up a lot of emotional and spiritual energy.
It’s a strange thing to arrive at this place where I’m probably the most enthusiastic student in my cohort now. This place where everything in my life is finding its place and purpose through the lens of this program and what I’m learning it in.
My Mdiv journey has been about what I’ve learned just as much as it is about what’s happened as I let God be a real, tangible, daily part of my decision-making, my work, my eating, my exercising, my art-making. And essay-writing.
Finding Purpose in Academic Papers
When I enrolled in the program, I didn’t really consider the fact that a masters of this kind would involve writing academic essays — a lot of them. So the first few papers caught me off guard and annoyed me. In my undergrad I could get papers done, but the exercise felt stagnant. “Fake work,” I used to call it. I couldn’t want to never write a paper again.
In this masters program, I hustled my way through the first papers, but by my second paper, I realized that God was speaking to me through the essay writing. I would land on a message, a phrase, or even the entire thesis, that resonated deeply to my spirit. I would be writing words that I needed to hear, that God must need to tell me.
I thought I’d post the essays I write for seminary up on this blog, both for me to track my milestones and also for you to explore, if you’d like. (Otherwise, they’ll sit in my essay Google drive folder, and they’ve become quite precious to me. Fingerprints of God in my life.)
Like everything else on this website they have the Creative Commons 4.0 Attribution license. Feel free to share and remix, and give appropriate credit.
Note: The writing style for these papers is more dense and less conversational than anything else on this site, so consider yourself warned. They are not the most riveting things to read, but they each mean something to me (and they did get good grades)!
Paper #1
A Spiritual Theology: The Personal Journey and The Community
Course: Spiritual Formation
Written for my Spiritual Formation course, this was my first paper since I left undergrad in 2014! I wasn’t entirely sure what the heck I was doing, but once I saw a hamburger diagram and a cheatsheet on the “thesis, argument #1, argument #2, argument #3” outline. I got it done.
Next I had a New Testament Theology course and a course on Ephesians for which I wrote reflections and integrations papers but not essays.
Paper #2
Jeremiah: A Change Of Heart, An Exegesis of Jeremiah 12:5
Course: Old Testament Theology
This is when God started to speak to me. In the middle of unpacking a verse about trying to race after horses, I realized that I was racing after the world, chasing shimmer and glimmer that was worthless. All of the work to write the paper suddenly became worth it. God came into my room and spoke to my heart.
Paper #3
Ministry Project Proposal: Spiritual Centres for Spiritual Explorers
Course: Gospel, Church & Culture
This was the first class I really loved. It was the first time in the program that I started to see how my undergrad in media (and lifelong passion for media and culture) connected to what I was learning in seminary. There was no essay, but we had to come up with a ministry project proposal, which we will continue to work on in the rest of the program. I just rolled with what burned most brightly in my heart, trusting that it was inspiration from the Holy Spirit, and what came out was something I called “Spiritual Centres for Spiritual Explorers”.
If you’ve walked with me for a while, you’ll know that this idea is not new. Years ago, I wrote on my Patreon that I dream of building a “home for humanity” one day. I was surprised to see that Spiritual Centres is what bubbled up for me as a “ministry” project but it also makes perfect sense, given my experiences travelling and making friends from many spiritual paths.
Paper #4
A Theology Of Christian Leadership: A Continual Journey Of From Character Transformation To Spirit-Led Action.
Course: Forming Missional Leaders
For this paper, I wasn’t sure what I was doing. I’m still figuring out what it means to come up with a “theology of” something, but I got it done!
Paper #5
The Art Of Redemption: Entertainment In A Missional Hermeneutic
Course: Missional Hermeneutics in a Postmodern World
Yes, this course name is a lot of big words that meant little to me before I started the course haha. Hermeneutics basically means how you read the Bible, the lens through which you interpret the stories, poems, letters and text of the Bible. For example, we read and interpret fiction differently from how we read non-fiction. Apparently, how you read the Bible (hermeneutics) is a whole field you can specialize in!
Missional is the idea that God has a mission in the world. So this course was about, what does it mean to read the Bible through a sense of God having a mission in a world where no one believes in truth (a postmodern world)?
For the final paper, we got to choose any topic and connect it to the course ideas. One suggested topic was entertainment. This paper was the start of a new day. It changed everything. It was the first time in the program that I really saw how my passion for media played in my spiritual faith and what it means for my life.
It was the first time I really saw that God was going to use this Mdiv program to shape me to shape the world.
Paper #6
The Enduring Power of Pilgrimage in World Religions
Course: World Religions
In a recent blog, I alluded to how pivotal this course was for me. I still wish that I was in it! World Religions and interreligious dialogue is something that I will likely explore for the rest of my life. For now, here is a paper looking at pilgrimage from the vantage point of several religions: Islam, Christianity and Buddhism. Yes, of course, I would pick the topic of pilgrimage. :)
Paper #7
Community Under Christ: A Comparison of St. Benedict, St. Francis And The Power Of Christian Community For Formation and Transformation
Course: History Of Christianity I
I’m still waiting for a grade for this paper, but I’m still posting it up because it’s submitted.
This was my first time attempting to write a history paper. I’m not sure I landed on the mark, since I’m still waiting for a grade for this paper, but I did try harder! I read more books. I’ve started to find a process and a groove for how to write papers, so they are not daunting anymore. They still take time and mental focus, but the nervousness I used to have around writing papers is gone. Now I accept papers as a small mountain to climb and a chance for God to reveal something to me.
Paper #8:
Francois Fenelon and A Model For Spiritual Direction
Course: Finding Your Way: Principles of Spiritual Direction
Coming Soon.
Papers #9 and 10
Papers on Bonhoeffer and Wesley, Coming Soon.
Course: History of Christianity II
Coming Soon.
Year Two Milestones
This spring, I’ve written 3 papers, and there will be 3 more by mid-June. Along the way, I had a few revelations that have totally change that the way I see papers:
God speaks to me through papers.
I know HOW to write papers. Having a process for research, outlining, drafting and editing has made my papers doable. As long as I give myself enough time and focus, I can do it.
I can incorporate things I’m already passionate about into papers
The research I’m doing for these papers could very well lead to a bigger project in the future.
I also share these papers here with you in case you are thinking of seminary and want to know if you can do it. You can! God will help you and see you through. And if you needed a sign, here is a random girl on the internet sharing her complete essays to help you along! Obviously, please don’t try to copy entire essays and submit it as your own, but I hope that these will give you confidence that you can do this too.
I used to wish that my profs would give us samples of papers to read because it’s hard to get into academic writing when it’s been years since your undergrad, so I hope this helps. :)
I’ve come a long way since I started this program, angry at God and angry that I was “wasting” time writing papers. Now I’m actually excited to write more papers! And I know this change of heart is a gift from God. I have 13 courses left, so there is a good chance there are 13 more papers to come and I’m looking forward to them! :)
It feels like I have passed through the valley of shadow and death, and entered green pastures with God. I know that my journey with God will bring future lows and valleys, but this is a special moment for me.
All of my persevering, wrestling, and surrendering has paid off. I have found a pearl of great price, something infinitely more precious than a notable career, higher pay grade, free time, Youtube subscribers or Instagram likes.
I have found God, alive and breathing, in me.
Infinite Love,
Anita
